Dornoch Forest, Scotland

Though elves are among the more well known of the legendary creatures very little is actually known about them. Are they tall, powerful warriors? Small, jolly tinkers? Mischievous childlike fairies? I’ve made up my mind to find out. 

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SKYE: To start, let’s settle this for good. Are elves short or tall?

ELF: That is an interesting question. You see, originally we elves were very diverse in our height, just like humans, but a few centuries ago an elf named Nicholas took all the shorter elves and departed for the north. Never did find out what happened to them…

SKYE: Ever heard of Santa Claus?

ELF: Who?

SKYE: Nevermind. Okay, next question. What exactly do elves do?

ELF: That’s difficult to answer. Like, what if someone asked you ‘what do humans do?’ Each human has their own life, and it’s the same way for us. Sure, many of us are very philosophic, most of us spend a lot of time fixing our hair and whatnot, all of us own your common elf essentials: a bow, sword, flat screen tv, and so on, but you humans have similarities too. Like that thing you do…dying? I don’t think I’ve met a human who didn’t do that eventually. Seems pretty painful to me, but hey, to each his own. 

SKYE: [Aside] I guess we don’t need to ask how long elves live anymore.

ELF: What was that?

SKYE: Nothing. One last question. Are elves really that good with a bow? The stories seem a bit exaggerated if you ask me.

ELF: Well, think about it this way. If there were a fly on that tree way over there, see it? If a fly was sitting on that tree and it insulted my mother, I could hit it.

SKYE: And if it didn’t insult your mother?

ELF: Harder to say. I need some sort of motivation.

SKYE: Well, it was nice talking to you.

ELF: Likewise, Ms. Summer. Have fun dying, and whatever else you humans do!

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