A goblin encampment in Legendaria

Goblins are small, brutish creatures (don’t tell him I said that) who are commonly used in the dark lord’s army. They love gold. They will do practically anything for gold, including allowing me to interview them.

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SKYE: So, how does it feel to be a soldier in the dark lord’s army?

GOBLIN: I can sum it up in one word: terrifying. Goblins like me are always dropping like flies. A hero turns up? Bam! A whole squadron gone. A full out battle? Chances of survival are slim at best. A bigger goblin gets hungry? I think you get the picture.

SKYE: How have you managed to survive so long?

GOBLIN: Using an essential goblin skill, cowardice. I hide when I could be fighting and run away when the going gets tough. And of course blame all my failures on the next guy who comes along so he’s the one who gets tortured to death.

SKYE: Do you have any good qualities?

GOBLIN: Let me think…nope, not at all. I’m no good at fighting, I’m a terrible worker, I’m working for the dark lord so morals? Not so much. The only real appeal to us goblins is that there’s a lot of us. And I mean a lot. A goblin army often consists of hundreds of thousands of incompetent individuals.

SKYE: Where do they all come from?

GOBLIN: No one knows for sure, not even us. Every time one of us dies another one pops up out of nowhere. It’s uncanny, really.

SKYE: So if you all die off so quickly, why the gold lust? You most likely won’t get a chance to use it.

GOBLIN: Huh, never thought about it. I very rarely spend any gold. I guess I just like looking at it, maybe. Honestly, I think you might do better asking that question to a philosopher. Now if you’ll please excuse me, we have a raid coming up and I have to practice my cowering.

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